Felicity
I have been too busy to post much lately, but I will finish with my meditation on the death of the idea of eternity soon enough, and will also shortly be posting on the beauty of creation in Hawaii. For now I just wanted to post one of my own poems, one that reworks an old conceit about love, and the sin of unreal expectations, and forgiveness–I think. Anyway, more to come soon!
Felicity
So this is our felicity
Sun-dropped from pale blue eyes
That looks like tenderness in spite of me:
The ugly earth reeking mud,
The moist air smothering the skin,
The new day beckoning its surprise.
I hope it’s not profanity
To swear at your expense,
Whose smile’s promise more entrusts
Than a cloistered virtues’ dream
To one who’s starved for innocence,
Hungry for what it seems.
Bleak December humidity
Harangues unsubtle mind:
I thought the world unfit for me
For mystic treasures I would bring,
A hero of my dual creation
Achilles and a philosopher king.
But they call it reality
That baptized their familiar ways,
And rote nicety of routine pleasure;
Chilled by this winter’s summer heat
Like them neither beast nor god
I must play the bland apostate.
It is achieved simplicity—
That is it I tell myself
Unsure just what your smile meant
Between expectations, sweating glances,
Puzzled by a gold-haired child
Laughing at my blessedness.
Perhaps it’s synchronicity
And we’re the last ones to know,
But I need your forgiveness more
For lapses of complicity
When lost in building worlds on words
To see what’s real is what you see,
O won’t you tell me what you see?
February 23, 2008
Feast of St. Polycarp, 2nd Saturday of Lent
Nunc Stans 